selfish teams

The Patriots’ signal-caller is getting lots of credit in the press for “giving” SUVs made by Audi to several of his team’s offensive linemen.

On closer inspection, Brady apparently arranged for the SUVs to be extended to the players for one year… and so… let’s not get carried away and compare the guy with Oprah or something.

Besides, if he really did pay for the SUVs for the guys up front… can you imagine the tax implications?

Anyhow.

Brady’s “gift” (and by gift, we mean investment) for the big guys made us wonder about other QBs sharing their wealth (or cookie crumbs, at least) for the people who keep them in business.

Here’s what we found:

+ As anyone with a TV during the 1980s knows… NFL QB legend Dan Marino (of Dolphins and Ace Ventura fame) allegedly made it a practice to outfit his squad with a new pair of Isotoner gloves each year. (Thanks, Dan!)

+ Less publicly… another QB legend (of sorts) Vinny Testaverde reportedly doled out champagne, Rolexes, and stogies depending on the mood of the season.

+ QBs are not the only “skill players,” it turns out, to get in on the action of giving gifts to the “fat guys” up front. As an example, Reuben Droughns — the Cleveland running back who broke the franchise drought of seasons without a 1,000-yard-rusher — broke down and bought diamond watches “for the team’s nine offensive linemen, two fullbacks and two tight ends.” Pretty smart, we’d say.

+ Our favorite, though, is the report that the Seahawks’ QB Matt Hasselbeck (in 2004) bought and placed coolers with 100 pounds of meat (in each cooler) for his O-linemen. Chomp, chomp.

Back to Brady, we’re guessing that the value of time (and words) that he gave his front five in a Visa commercial a few years might have been more of a gift than the one-year lease for the Audis.

And… we’d imagine that fewer accountants needed to be involved. Maybe as few as Hasselbeck needed for the coolers filled with meat.

During the halftime show for the Patriots-Jaguars game, CBS’s Boomer Esiason left us with encouraging comments for the Jags’ QB David Garrard that included either (a) interesting slang or (b) big, surprising news.

Namely, the 46-year-old Norwegian-American Esiason called the 29-year-old African-American Garrard… “son” when he was trying to root for him continuing into the second half what he started in the first.

Uh, we don’t think he was making big news… but we do wonder:

Would Esiason have called Tom Brady “son”? What about 26-year-old Philip Rivers (later today) when the Chargers take on the Colts?

We think he might… especially with the prodding of high-paid sensitivity consultants who know there’s an ethnic dimension to things like calling people “son,” “brother,” and “cousin” when… they’re not. Especially, when we’re talking about quarterbacks.